Hunting camp is a tradition as old as time. Camps across the globe bring together friends, family, and time-honored traditions. But they also bring together a cast of hodgepodge characters. No matter what state, country, or game you are chasing, every hunting camp has these five people in it.
The Old Timer
His hunting gear looks like it came straight from an army surplus bargain bin. Scent control? Never heard of it, and he doesn’t need it, as long as his black coffee breath isn’t blowing across his shooting lanes.
He’s been hunting out of the same wooden stand since before you were born. There’s no time for fancy upgrades when the same 4x scope has been getting the job done since he bought it new with his childhood paper route money. The sound of his snoring serenades camp to sleep, and he can survive a full week on ham sandwiches. Don’t give him too hard of a time. One day, you’ll take over his role as the old timer.
Uncle Jerry
He’s loud, doesn’t help with anything, and might be on his third or fourth divorce. We’re not exactly sure at this point.
What he lacks in reliability, he makes up for in entertainment. Uncle Jerry brings the good jokes, the elaborate stories, and usually the snacks and beverages. He never tells anyone when he’s arriving, but he always seems to show up right when supper is ready.
The Brother-in-Law
He married your sister, and now, to avoid awkward conversations at Christmas, you make sure he doesn’t get lost in the woods. Bless his heart, he tries hard, but he still gags when it’s time to gut a deer.
That said, he’s the shining star of camp improvements. The actual table instead of plywood? Him. The new propane heater for the cabin that doesn’t give off carbon monoxide vibes? Also, him. Camp may not run smoothly, but it runs better because of him.
Gary the Gadget Man
Dang Gary, did you just take the tags off that new jacket? If it’s new, he owns it. If it’s trendy, he claims he started it. Sporting goods stores are happy to see him walk through the doors.
Gary scoffs at your three-year-old camo pattern, laughs at your non-organic merino wool socks, and is offended by your optics that aren’t triple-quadruple coated. You have to hand it to him; Gary is prepared. He just always seems to shoot a buck that experiences a lot of ground shrinkage.
The Kid Who’s Probably Too Young for Camp Conversations
You were this kid once, and you smile when the next one arrives for the first time, excited to be part of the adult crew.
They aren’t old enough to understand all the new colorful words being tossed around camp or the innuendo behind Uncle Jerry’s jokes. They’ll see, hear, and smell things they’ve never experienced before and be better for it. If they don’t remember all the stories being told, don’t worry. They’ll hear the same ones again next year.
While it may be an eye-opening experience, a core memory is made when everyone gathers around to congratulate them on their first deer.
Why Deer Camp Never Changes
The gear changes. The stories get longer. The coffee gets stronger. But the people stay the same, and that’s what makes deer camp special.
No matter where you hunt, odds are that every one of these people is sitting around your camp right now. And deep down, you wouldn’t want it any other way.
